On Ego and Connection

A friend asked me recently, “What is ego?”  We had been discussing ego, identity, the realm of self, self-actualization and the like.  As usual, I had a long, drawn-out answer attempting to explain my interpretation of “ego.” We looked up an overview of Freud’s Id, Ego and Superego as we discussed the psychology of the ego.  It still seemed murky and undistinguished.

   The next morning I awoke at 5 am, and the simplicity of ego hit me – it’s the thing that makes everything about me!  I’m not overly concerned with where it comes from, exactly how it gets formed, or in which part of the brain it resides.  Although those aspects are fascinating to me and informative, ultimately, what’s important to me is the impact on myself and my relationships with other people when my ego takes over.  Now, ego seems to be part of what has us survive as individuals and as a species.  That is certainly important on the geological scale.  However, I see ego also as what keeps us separated from each other.  When everything is about me, I have no space for you in my life and no space for being connected with you.  The irony is that my ego wants to be known!  Yet another cannot know it when there is no space, no mechanism for true connection. Then throw in your ego making everything about you while mine is making everything about me.  What a vicious cycle that is! 

   What’s possible other than ego?  Is there another way for humans to be and to interact? 

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Listening As Contribution: Listening For Connection

This article is being published in the Journal of the Conference for Global Transformation 2014 

What is it to listen as contribution? To me, listening as contribution allows something new to be said or heard in the listening, new actions become available and people are moved and inspired to action. An area of listening I am honing is listening for connection.

What is it to listen for connection? When I listen for connection, I listen to what is being said, I listen for the emotion or feeling, and I listen for the commitment. It takes being completely present with another person and completely in the moment. At the same time...

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